I write about wanting to feel like a king’s daughter in my upcoming book, The Blueprint: Playing and Winning with a Losing Hand. The shame of not being raised by my biological father made me forget that a crown still resides on my head. I was completely focused on my earthly father defining who I am when my Heavenly Father already defined whose I am.
My Heavenly Father crowned me His daughter from the day He thought to bring me in this world. I let the world and my thoughts cause the shine on my crown to fade and eventually be stripped from my head.
I wanted my biological father to protect my innocence, go to battle for me against the world when I couldn’t, shield, love and adore me like a precious and rare ruby. I wanted him to show me what it meant to carry his last name, show me my lineage and all that I am made of; capable of. I wanted to know that the blood that ran through my body was for a divine purpose. I wanted to understand my personality. That I am a homemaker like my mother but bold and passionate like my father. I wanted to understand that my creativity and love for writing was from my father and my desire to survive was from my mother.
I wanted so desperately for my earthly father to tell me who I am when my Heavenly Father already did. My Heavenly Father told me I was made amongst the beautiful things on earth; among gardens, rivers and gold (Genesis 2:10). That I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), without flaw or error. And that I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).
I spent so much time desiring things I already had. I’ve always been a King’s daughter to the only one and true living God. I’ve always been protected. God has been going to battle on my behalf since I took my first breathe. The second He told me to live I was loved beyond measure. The moment I walked this earth His warrior angels have been by my side. My innocence has always been preserved because God has the ability to heal and restore.
The thought of my biological father brings tears to my eyes, not because he was not present in my life, but because I spent so much time desiring him when my heart's desire should have been on God. I should have spent more time loving the Father who can truly protect and love me the way I need. I should have spent more time with the Father who grabbed me when I tried to slip away, the Father who placed my crown on my head because I was a King’s daughter, the Father who cleaned my crown when life made it dirty, the Father who said I will never leave you nor forsake you.
No matter the cards you were dealt in life God says you still belong to Him.